Digital Consent: Sending Nudes

January 22, 2025

An incredibly common way to express one’s sexuality online is by exchanging nude, semi-nude, or suggestive images of oneself, sometimes referred to as sexting or sending nudes. Research suggests that nearly 88% of U.S. adults have sent nudes at some point in their lifetime.¹Sending, receiving, and viewing nude images is as much of a sexual act as those involving physical contact.

Consent matters online

Consent is just as important online as it is in person. You need consent before sending someone sexual photos, videos, or messages. You need consent before sending someone else’s sexual photos, videos, or messages to another person. Our bodies are still our bodies even if they’re appearing on a screen. We respect others’ right to bodily autonomy by letting them choose who interacts with their body and how.

There is an unfair, added shame and stigma around digital sexual abuse. When bad things happen to us online, the response is often some sentiment that tries to convince us that what happens online isn’t “real-life.” In reality, the average person in the U.S. spends six hours and forty-minutes online daily.² What we do online is real. When we spend money online– our money is actually taken from our bank account. When we order a ride from a rideshare app– a car actually shows up. With every passing day, our lives become more and more digital, there is nothing unreal about it.

Consensually exchanging nudes

Before sending a nude photo or video, ask the person if they’d like to receive the image. Sending a nude to anyone unsolicitedly, even if it is not a photo of yourself and even if your intent in sending the photo was not to cause sexual arousal, is a form of sexual violence. Just as it is sexually violent to expose oneself in front of others non-consensually in-person, it is sexually violent to do so online.

You should not request a nude photo from someone you do not know or do not have an intimate relationship with already, as it is sexual harassment. While an existing intimate relationship does not mean they owe you a nude photo, asking someone who you do not know for something so intimate is inappropriate.

If you would like to exchange nude image with someone else, you can ask them politely in a variety of ways, such as:

“Would you be interested in exchanging nudes?”
“Are you comfortable sending me intimate photos?”
“I’d like to send you a video of me doing , is that something you’d be interested in?”

Image-based Sexual Abuse: Non-consensual Image Distribution

If you receive a nude image of someone, it is your responsibility to make sure the image is not seen by anyone else without their consent. When sexting, it is understood that the material exchanged stays private unless otherwise communicated. Sending a nude photo to someone does not mean the person consents to the photo being seen by other people than the intended recipient.

Sharing or distributing nude images of someone else without their consent is a form of sexual violence known as image-based sexual abuse. Nearly every U.S. State has a law criminalizing image-based sexual abuse. If you see that a nude photo of someone you know is being distributed, it is your responsibility to inform the individual about the distribution in order to stop the abuse, as everytime the photo is seen by someone else, the person is revictimized.

What should I do if I receive a nude image from someone other than the person in the image?

If you receive a nude photo of someone that was not sent by the individual in the image, you should:

Do not share the image with anyone else
Delete the image from your phone
Inform the person in the photo that their image is being distributed
If they did not consent to their photo being distributed, provide them support

Like any other sexual act, you have to respect the body of the person you’re engaging with. Consensual nude exchanges are normal and healthy expressions of sexuality. Taking and sending a nude image to someone consensually does not mean anyone deserves to have those images distributed. If you or someone you know has been victimized by non-consensual image distribution, there are resources available to help.

Sources

Stasko, E.C., & Geller, P.A. (2015). Reframing Sexting as a Positive Relationship Behavior.
Kemp, S. (2023, January 26). Digital 2023: Global Overview Report. DataReportal. https://datareportal.com/reports/digital-2023-global-overview-report

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